Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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