HIV tests are more positive than that guy
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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