I think I died a long time ago.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
