its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
