A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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