Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
