If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
