Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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