I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
