1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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