I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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