I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
