his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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