Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
