THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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