She announced her abortion via fbk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize