If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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