Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
