FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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