I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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