the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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