Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Send help, water and tortillas.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize