Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this just has baby written all over it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
