he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize