Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
