Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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