did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
