We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
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