I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
