dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
