So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
