And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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