I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
