You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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