Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
