I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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