Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
