i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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