Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
