i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
