that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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