why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize