ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This is classic penis vs brain.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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