Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
