Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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