OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
