dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
