I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
