After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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