dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
