Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
