We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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