some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
