Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need water and some morals
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
