Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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