Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
