my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
