its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
