This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize