You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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