im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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