You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
