talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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