Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
