can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
