He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
