The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
