So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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