My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
