"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
